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Tag Archives: Closer to the Edge

Well, Sten knows more than I thought. Which was pleasantly surprising, as he was rather receptive to the fact that I’m one of Emma’s pupils. And he respects her as both a woman, and a headmistress. The others had no clue what I was talking about, but Sten’s enthusiasm was encouragement enough for them. And I’m happy that they’re coming. Hopefully, Emma will approve of them.

I’ve decided to hold off on talking to Will. After all that’s happened recently, I need to take a step back and stop throwing myself into the wringer, emotionally. I need time to figure out what my feelings are for Alistair, and to reflect on everything I’ve done while on break. And I haven’t taken care of my most valuable asset.

Me.

My body has gone through a lot of changes, and I haven’t had time to really get used to them. I’m tall now, getting close to six feet, and I have boobs and hips and… I look more like a woman than I did when I left. I’m still raw, emotionally, from killing that man. I need time to let those wounds heal. But I know that the others will be there for me if I need them, and that’s all I can ask of them.

But, at the same time, I’ve never felt more alive. I may be wearing clothes that are obviously too big for me, but I’ve never felt more beautiful. And I know what I’m capable of. I know who I want to be. What my goals are. Who I am at this moment. And this… This feels good. I’m leaving behind all of the anger and pain that I felt from the years of neglect at my mothers hand, and I’m trading it for my happiness. For my wants and desires. I have to in order to keep the things and people I love safe.

Once we were near an airport, I called Owen to get plane tickets. We’re making a quick stop at the Grand Canyon, and then in Detroit, so I can pick up my bike. We’ll be driving from there, but it’s less than a days trip, so I’m not too worried. After that, I’ll get in contact with David, and see how he and Rosie are doing. Then I’ll talk to Emma about bringing them to the White Tower. I have no clue how that will go over, but I have to try.

Someday, I’ll look back at this, and I’ll be able to see what I learned. For now, it serves as a reminder that even I am capable of changing, as stubborn as I am.

Now, it’s time to head home.

“I will never forget
NO NO
I will never regret
NO NO
I WILL LIVE MY LIFE
NO NO NO NO
I will never forget
NO NO
I will never regret
NO NO
I WILL LIVE MY LIFE “

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